mild-bloom:

i dont need a valentine i need 8 million dollars and a fast metabolism

(via pizza)

internetexplwhorer:

the gays are ruining the sanctity of marraige

image

(via kevrudd)

alabasterbones:

i envy people that come up with witty comebacks on the spot because i’m gonna need at least a 3 day notice 

(via exhists)

dejacoendou:

hey-doesnt-he-rap:

chicken-nuggets-galore:

Do twins have the same sized dick?

now we’re asking the real questions

As a twin, I can say my dick is definitely bigger than my sister’s.

(via svvaziland)

coluring:

i’m closer to the age 20 than 10 this isn’t good

(Source: coluring, via ha-ze)

thurdsay:

*has tumblr open in three tabs*

(via pizza)

coconuti:

me: *dials 911*

operator: hello 911, what’s your emergency?

me: i need someone to cuddle with, rub my back, and play with my hair

operator: someone is on their way, please stay calm

(via wassteful-universse)